Category Archives: Leisa’s Life

Change

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You know when Life starts changing on you?

And not in directions that you have charted or would have consciously chosen?

And you feel all drifty, like in a row boat in the ocean, except you never really intended to being doing a solo circumnavigation of the globe, even in a well-equipped yacht, let alone some rickety thing barely fit for a pond?

So you forgot the charts, compass, survival suit, and emergency rations; and everything else you have always relied on is really just a memory, nowhere closer than the moon?

And the sea may be calm, but you know it could change drastically, dramatically in an instant?

And when it does, all you will have to face it is you; your wits, your heart, your will?

Ya. Me. Now. Like that.

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Kindness, courtesies, and the little things [Week 2 – 50 weeks of 50]

I remember as a child being taught that it was very important to be kind.

As I neared school-age, the importance of kindness was impressed ever and ever more urgently upon me. Being a youngster, I don’t think I really understood what kindness was, but I knew it was sort of like being nice (pleasant, agreeable).  So – especially when adults were around – I made a point to try to be ‘nice.’ Perhaps not as fake as Eddie Haskel in the old Leave It To Beaver TV series, but still, if I may have lacked in a naturally benevolent nature, kindness was a veneer that I very much knew I was expected to show.

That strategy, formed and practiced in primary school,  seemed to work well at keeping me in good graces of teachers and parents. And thus I went on in life with hardly another thought about kindness – it was something I had mastered, after all – until now.

Unbidden, I noticed a lot of little kindnesses this week.

Mundane, commonplace courtesies, but somehow they struck me deeply. A driver stops for a pedestrians to walk, when five before have driven by.  A man opens and holds the door for me with a nod. My friend calls from the store to see if there is anything I need before she comes over. With each of these, I smiled and said a heartfelt “thank you” – but when I realize how deeply they’ve touched me,  I wonder if thank you is enough.

As I move into my 5th decade of life, it seems I am suddenly much more aware of how precious these little kindnesses are – both in the giving and receiving.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.  ~Plato

Perhaps it is because I have experienced first-hand the comfort of having a stranger offer “let me help you with that” when I am having a particularly hard day. And I’ve also experienced the cold-slap to the soul when someone shows indifference or contempt, when they could have just as easily shown courtesy. Or even perhaps, it’s because somehow along the way, that adolescent veneer of ‘niceness’ has ripened into a genuine kindness of heart that I now see in others, as I carry it in myself. Whatever the reason, the difference is –  I no longer take these courtesies for granted.

I’ve always believed the world to be a big, wonderful, beautiful and amazing place. But it can also be harsh, demanding, scary, cold, intimidating and unforgiving.

Each of these kind moments is a precious gift, and our lives are richer, our challenges more tolerable because of them.

The best portion of a good man’s life – his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.  ~ William Wordsworth

So, for every little kindness and courtesy you have shown this week, to whomever it was – I acknowledge you and thank you.

Thank you for stopping at cross walks.
Thank you for waiting for pedestrians to walk before turning right.
Thank you for holding the elevator.
Thank you for meeting my eyes and giving me a smile -however fleeting – when I’m walking my sweet, adorable dog. Thank you for acknowledging when I hold the door for you.
Thanks for waiting patiently as I back out of my parking spot, and thank you for letting me merge on to the interstate.
Thank you for returning my phone calls.
Thank you for replying to my emails when I’ve asked you a question.
I thank you all for these little things and more.

Although I am sure my mom started teaching me at 5 or younger, at 50 it seems I’m finally learning, it really is the little things that count.

Photos by Nena B. and girl.from.melbourne

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50 weeks of 50 – A new beginning of being

A few weeks back, I promised to share a bit about a milestone birthday. Well, now that it’s been and gone, and the reaching of that milestone is a fact rather than an event anticipated, I can finally say without equivocation that I’m 50 years old!

No longer turning 50, coming up on 50, dreading 50, or anticipating 50. But actually just 50. Whew! Seriously. I may have wished that I could’ve taken it in stride like any other day or birthday, but the run up to the actual event turned out to  have a mind and force of it’s own that would not be denied. (To those in my inner-circle, many thanks and much love  for your patience and generosity. For those of you spared my day-to-day machinations over the last few weeks, count yourselves fortunate.)

This milestone has prompted me to take a new view. To evaluate my life so far, and engage a fresh perspective on what lies ahead, and what I am committed to creating and contributing to the world.

In light of all that (and in an attempt to redeem myself from  the nuttiness of turning 50), I’ve decided to chronicle my one-year journey of “being” 50.

I’ll spend the year observing and experiencing life through the prism of my elevated bucket list. Here’s the updated list.

I’m calling it my ‘Being Bucket-List’.

1. Love everyone.
2. Acknowledge everyone.
3. Forgive everyone.
4. Live with heart, humility and passion.
5. Inspire strangers.
6. Leave a legacy worth celebrating.

Inspired by a reader’s comments, I’ve added one more to the original list – Inspire strangers. This one really resonated because it seems the perfect reminder for me to reach out beyond the familiar and comfortable confines of close friends, family and colleagues, in order to engage with people and life in a larger, more expanded way.

Each week, I’ll be reporting on what I have done, learned, observed and experienced in these areas. It’s my hope that by doing so, I will be moving toward fulfilling on them all. I’ll be honored to have you join me for the ride.

Photo: Bernat Casero

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My Annual Ode to Fall


Last days of red and yellow

I see neighbors, bundled and well meaning
with their rakes and leaf blowers, and in an instant,
I despise them.

Not yet.
Let them be.
Until I have piled high a cloud of yellow glow and run through it kicking my feet and tossing handfuls of nature’s confetti to the sky like a child.

Not yet.
Let them be.
While they still pulse with color
As though each golden leaf had drunk in every summer ray and saved it up to shine back at gray November skies triumphant
As though the glow of every sunset red and orange had faded into the night sky only to live on dormant, merely hidden
Waiting for this one fall day to burn boldly again.

Not yet.
Let me walk a little longer – a week or two – on this sparkling path of gold no less wondrous than the road to Oz.
Let my eyes drink in the red blaze that moves me, dares me, commands me to live fiercely, to abandon my certitude for passion, if only for an afternoon, or better, as long as the colors remain.

Not yet.
Soon enough the deciding storm will come.
The storm that rips the last defiant leaves from their branches, and leaves the glorious golden carpet a mass of fibrous, browning decay.

Not yet.
Soon enough the branches will stand bare and naked, stripped, with no adornment to shield them from the unforgiving winter sky.

That is the time for raking.

photo credit:oedipusphinx

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